Does Christmas cost you an arm and leg every year? Do you find yourself reaching way deep down in your purse to pull it all together? Christmas doesn’t have to break your bank! In fact, you can save money AND pick up some meaningful new traditions.

Here are some tips for keeping your holiday financially manageable while still making an impact:

1-Stick to a List

Scribble down all the folks you want to buy a gift for, number that list and then cut it in half. Next, cut that in half and then into thirds. Just kidding! But you should prioritize who you would like to gift to. If you are low on cash, White Elephant gifts are clutch.

2-Set a Budget

Decide how much you can afford to spend in cash or pay off free and clear on the next billing cycle (if you use your credit card.) Then divide that budget accordingly for the folks on your list. You are NOT obligated to spend the same amount on everyone. Be thoughtful in considering what would make them feel the most loved and don’t go by the price tag.

3-Give ‘Em a Little WAP

Wait… you thought I was talking about that WAP?! *tee hee* Naw, Sis… I meant “Well-wishes And Prayers.” If this year has taught us one thing, it is how unpredictable life can be, which means we should cherish those we love more often. Why not send a thoughtful card or go old school and send a letter to a loved one? Throw in a printed photo from Walgreens, a cute picture frame plus postage, and you are good-to-go for under $10.

4-Consider Experiences in Lieu of Gifts

Instead of purchasing items where the newness will wear off, why not treat your family to an awesome experience like a chef-prepared dinner, hotel staycation, or a family paint party and pizza night? I could go on but you get it, right? Chile… spend the money to make memories instead. 

When hubby and I were dating and were mad broke, we made each other gift certificates for different things like: home-cooked meal, a foot rub, breakfast in bed, Chick Flick Movie Night, etc. We also created gift certificates for family members for babysitting and other errands.

5-Adopt a Family

This year I’m so excited that my family and I have decided to purchase gifts for a family of 3. This will cost us $250-300. We get to shop for their gifts and wrap them! Not only is this a heartfelt gesture but it also teaches my 5 year-old about giving, abundance, and gratitude. And, yes, we are cutting down our list in order to be able to do it. (See #1 and #2 if you forgot what to do!)

6-Wait Until After Christmas

If after reading ALL of this, you still want to buy something… convince the people on your list to wait and exchange gifts after Christmas. Those sales are amazing!

Closing Thoughts

The holidays are not rewarding if you are struggling to make purchases that you cannot afford. IDGAF who it’s for either!  Ok… maybe your kids but still. Tell them crumb snatchers to get a job! I can’t tell you how many times I was shopping (read: overspending) and hoping my debit or credit card would go through. Nowadays I can afford to spend more but why? Christmas is just one day and I want to have some money left for December 26 and beyond! 

Oh and last thing… buy BLACK every day and for the holidays especially! There are so many amazing, high quality Black-owned businesses that would love to have you as a customer. A few of my favorite things are Love Cork Screw for wine; The Lip Bar (duh… lipstick and glosses); The Wrap Life for headwraps and headbands; ILAVA: It Can Be Done! for African inspired attire; Béni Mode online boutique for cute outfits that won’t break the bank; OUI the People for luxury body care; and Chic Shirt Shop for shirts and hoodies. The retailers mentioned above can get you all the way together with wine, lipstick, headwraps, African couture, cute and casual attire, and luxury skincare. And they’re all woman owned. BOOM! You’re welcome!

Happy shopping!

The post How To Use Your Coins Wisely This Christmas Season appeared first on Sassy Plum.

Black dollars have major power and influence in America. It is critical now, more than ever, that we are intentional about where we spend our money and make the choice to support the entrepreneurs of our own communities. Every dollar is critical, and supporting Black businesses positively impacts families and neighborhoods that are in dire need of financial security.

In short, Buying Black helps us all: the customers receive the products and services they need and the money is recycled back into the community. It’s a win-win!

There are plenty of reasons to Buy Black this season and support the businesses closest to us.

10 Reasons to Buy Black

Buying Black this holiday season and all year-round

1. Creates jobs and opportunities
2. Celebrates Black culture
3. Increases community wealth
4. Helps to close the racial wealth gap
5. Strengthens local economies
6. Increases Black household incomes
7. Gives Black communities power
8. Increases community morale
9. Builds generational wealth
10. Empowers us all

Do you want to Buy Black and find the perfect gift? Here are a list of Black-owned shops to consider:

Jewelry

Rotten Bella Jewelry and Accessories

The Sable Collective Apparel and Gifts

Rain Angeli Holistic Goods and Gifts: Etsy

Asilia Designs Handcrafted Jewelry and Accessories: Etsy

Ru Blac Jewelry and Accessories

Jeblanc Jewelry

Andrea Iyamah Jewelry and Accessories

Hola Luna Jewelry and Accessories

We Dream in Colour Jewelry

Beads Byaree Jewelry

Mateo Jewelry

Clothing

The Sable Collective Apparel and Gifts

Bon Bon Vie Clothing and Apparel

Delilah Johnson Clothing and Apparel

Melissa Mitchell Clothing and Apparel

Total Life Changes Clothing and Gifts

Chicago Culture Apparel

Little Muffin Cakes Boutique

Simply Ki’ 2 U

Autumn Deigbo Apparel & Accessories

Beverly Chi Apparel

Andrea Iyamah

Kids & Baby

Kido Apparel & Gifts

Tippy Tot Shoes

CoCo’Pie Clothing

Yinibini Baby

Darlyng & Co.

Cara B Hair Care

Stethoscope Dreams Book

Little Muffin Cakes Boutique

The Violet Series Books

Puzzle Huzzle

Just Like Me Box and Books

The Fresh Dolls

Home Ideas

Bona Candles

The Sable Collective Apparel and Gifts

Melissa Mitchell Clothing and Apparel

The Lampley Gifts & Accessories

Jungalow Decorations

Domain Home Decorations

Yowie Home Gifts

Black Pepper Paperie Co. Gifts

Accessories

Dungeon Forward Accessories

Rain Angeli Holistic Goods and Gifts: Etsy

Asilia Designs Handcrafted Jewelry and Accessories: Etsy

Autumn Adeigbo Apparel & Accessories

Cara B Hair Care

Noble Companion Accessories

Rotten Bella Jewelry and Accessories

Gifts

Huey’s Sons Gifts

Asilia Designs Handcrafted Jewelry and Accessories: Etsy

Boxed Expressions Gifts

Total Life Changes Clothing & Gifts

Nuria Talori Cosmetics

Little Muffin Cakes Boutique

Simply Ki’ 2 U

Autumn Adeigbo Gifts & Apparel

Pine & Peachtree Gifts

Doterra Essential Oils

The Lampley Gifts & Accessories

Love Cork Screw Wine & Gifts

Wakanna Adult Products

Cara B Hair Care

Noble Companion Accessories

Rotten Bella Jewelry and Accessories

Bifties Gifts

Beauty & Self-Care

Mary Kay via Jasmine Spencer

Total Life Changes Clothing and Gifts

Nuria Talori Cosmetics

Kinkistry Hair

Doterra Essential Oils

The Lampley Gifts and Accessories

Cara B Hair Care

Art, Books & Music

Art By Monday

The Black Art Depot

RDC Art Gallery

Red Bubble

Books by Michelle

Young Black & Lit Books

Stethoscope Dreams Book

Smells Like Popcorn Book

The Violet Series Books

BLK MKT Vintage Books

Travel

NDivine Travel

NoMadness Travel Tribe

Travel Noire

Food & Beverages

McBride Sisters Wine and Gifts

Love Corkscrew Wine and Gifts

Brown Estate Wine

Zafa Wines

Wakanna Adult Products

Dope Coffee Company

Essie Spice

Trade Street Jam Co

Oh-Mazing Granola

Symphony Chips

Zach & Zoe Sweet Bee Farm Honey

Vicky Cakes Pancakes & Waffle Mix

Pitmaster LT’s BBQ Sauce

BLK & Bold Coffee and Tea

Berry Bissap

Brooklyn Tea

Please share this blog and keep those dollars rolling!

Happy Shopping!

The post 10 Reasons to “Buy Black” This Holiday Season and a List of Online Shops to Consider appeared first on Sassy Plum.

Put on your big girl panties, take off your bra, and complete your mammogram! I recently turned the magical age of 40, and every woman knows that means! Time to get my breasts checked! I was very anxious to get my first mammogram because I was worried it would hurt and I didn’t want to receive any bad news. My plate is already full enough!

I also fundamentally understood that not getting a mammogram wasn’t an option for me, and I needed to go despite all of my fears. I went, survived and now I want to encourage others to go.

“My name is Kiki, and I’m the best. My OB said to check my breasts!”

-Me

Despite my fear, I got it done. It was a breeze! Sure, it was physically uncomfortable at times, but I was in and out within 20 minutes. When all was said and done, I felt so relieved and proud of myself for accomplishing something I was nervous about. Having known (and currently know) so many women that have struggled with breast cancer, I want to remind everyone why it is so important to see this through!

Here are the reasons you should get a mammogram too

1- The American Cancer Society and doctors recommend it. Women over the age of 40 should begin a regular screening, possibly earlier for those with family history of breast cancer. I don’t know about you, but if the American Cancer Society tells me I need it, they don’t have to repeat themselves. Excuse me while I go to see about my girlfriends!

2- Lumps and abnormalities can’t always be detected through physical exams. Sometimes your doctor can find lumps during a routine breast exam. But sometimes they cannot. So how can you relax if you don’t have all the information? In this case, less is not more. Mammograms will look beyond the physical exam and can detect missed abnormalities. Find out out as much as you can so you are well-informed about your lady lumps!

3- You don’t want to be a statistic. The average woman has a 13% chance of developing breast cancer in her life. With statistics that high, I AM NOT okay missing an opportunity to see if I’m in that statistic. Completing the exam gives me the best hopes at learning more about my body and whether my sugar plums need further attention.

4- You’re in an out! A typical mammogram only takes about 30 minutes. What else do you spend 30 minutes on? Probably everything under the sun and I bet most of it isn’t as important as a mammogram. If you have time to surf social media or browse Netflix looking for that next great series, you can spare a few minutes to get your love muffins checked.

5- Early detection leads to more treatment options. Sometimes breast cancer has symptoms such as a lump or pain, but other times there is no way to know unless you have a mammogram. Early detection is key, because it gives us the best chance at treating the cancer. If the cancer goes undetected, there is a risk of it spreading to other parts of the body. Also, early detection increases treatment options. Waiting too late can be detrimental. For these reasons, GO! Give your Betty Boops the attention they need NOW.

6- Yearly mammograms help to identify changes to your breasts. Getting your first mammogram is key because it will serve as your baseline data. Each year the radiologists will compare the scans and watch for change. If there is no first screening of your swag bags, there is nothing to compare! So take that first step for the record.

7- Risk increases with time. As much as we’d like to stay endlessly young and fly, the hard truth is that we aren’t getting any younger (although my fly has no shelf-life). Because the risk of breast cancer increases as we age and most women are diagnosed after the age of 50, it is critical to begin screening our tatas as early as possible so there are no surprises later.

8- Regular screenings can save your breasts. If a woman is diagnosed with breast cancer, there is a possibility she will have to have a mastectomy to remove one or both breasts. I love having my breasts. So regular mammograms and early detection will give me the best opportunity to keep Thelma & Louis present and fully in-tact!

9- Mammograms save lives and reduce deaths. Since 1990, breast screenings have reduced cancer-related deaths in the U.S. by 30%. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to die right now! I want to optimize my living and extend my life as much as possible. I have things to do, people to meet, and goals to accomplish and I need my love buds in good shape! So mind your rack!

10. You can be the next role model. This is my favorite. I went to get a mammogram in part because my doctors recommended it, and in part because so many of my friends had gone before me and lived to tell about it. Get your twins Dolce & Gobanna checked and then encourage the rest of us!

So Sis I ask you, WHY NOT? I can’t think of a single good reason to dodge your mammogram. So put on your big girl panties, take off your bra, and complete your mammogram.

The post My 1st Mammogram Was Easy! 10 Reasons You Should Get Your Breasts Checked appeared first on Sassy Plum.

I’ve noticed that a lot of people don’t know how to make a mimosa! For your viewing pleasure, I’ve added step-by-step instructions:

Enjoy, I’m here all night for more life hack and tips

The post The Proper Way to Make Delicious Mimosas! appeared first on Sassy Plum.

Do you have a lot of “stuff?” Have you run out of places to store your jewelry colletion? Do you need to finally stage an intervention and organize all your beautiful accessories? Well then, look no further! Allow me to share my wonderful find!

My jewelry and accessory situation was BAD! I had necklaces packed into drawers, hundreds of earrings in disarray all over my room, and accessories piled in boxes. I could never see everything at once and quite frankly, forgot all the stuff I even had. I desperately needed a solution to organize myself and came across this great armoire!

This organizer arrived mostly put together; I only had to secure the back shelves and bottom rotation spinner. It rotates 360 degrees and stands at about my height (I’m 5’5″) and has an array of features including: a full-length mirror on the front, back shelving, 32 necklace hooks, 48 stud earrings holes, 90 earring slots, an inside mirror, and 5 indoor storage shelves.

Are you not entertained and feeling goosebumps yet? Those of us that know KNOW!

My actual armoire in white is currently not available at this time, but I found the same one in brown:

Brown Jewelry Armoire

You’re welcome, enjoy, and happy organizing!

The post Find of the Week: The Perfect Jewelry Armoire with a 360 Mirror! appeared first on Sassy Plum.

Honey, I loved beef burgers with sweet caramelized onions and an extra sharp pillow of cheddar cheese. I adored fried chicken seasoned with lemon pepper and a hint of jerk seasoning. I downright lived for a medium steak with a pink buttery center, served with a spicy side of fresh horseradish. I once tasted a brown-sugar marinated bacon slice so delicious that it was sold as its own award-winning entree at a grand restaurant. My fellow bacon-lovers know what I mean. But I digress…. the point I’m trying to make is that I used to LOVE meat with my whole heart!

But deep down I knew this lifestyle drenched in grease, calories and fat would catch up with me. I was in my late 30’s and didn’t want to eat this way forever. I wanted to avoid high cholesterol, diabetes and heart problems down the road. I yearned to detox my body and replace the bad stuff with good eating on a permanent basis. In October of 2017, I began my countdown to my new life. For 3 months, I enjoyed all the wonderful meat I could find, knowing my days were numbered.

I began my vegetarian journey January 1st of 2018. To be clear, this was not a New Year’s resolution, this was an arbitrary date that made sense to me. Plus, most resolutions I see fall flat because they lack the preparation to uphold them and are meant to be temporary. I was more than prepared to convert to vegetarianism both mentally and emotionally (yes the decision, like any huge lifestyle change, takes A LOT of soul-searching and emotional preparedness).

The conversion wasn’t bad! In fact, it was much easier than I ever imagined. Week 1 was a breeze! I had a rush of adrenaline and was so hyped up to be a vegetarian that I floated right through. Little did I know, reality set in by the second week and I found myself feeling blue. The adrenaline was gone and I started questioning my decision. I really missed meat and my crankiness set in. Although I felt full after every meal, I was having serious withdrawals as I tried to ignore the void left by the absence of meat.

But I never gave up! I once read that 75% of newly-converted vegetarians relapse and end their journey within a few weeks. My competitive nature gave me the discipline I needed to NOT become a part of that statistic. The sadness and void disappeared quickly and I don’t even remember weeks 3 and 4. In fact, after I passed the second week I was GOOD.

Three years in, I am so proud of my journey. It hasn’t always been perfect or easy. But it was doable and worth it. And since there are both wins and bumps down every road, I want to share the good, the bad, and the ugly of it all!

The Good

Now that I rarely eat fried and greasy foods, I know my body is healthier. Becoming a vegetarian has forced me to appreciate and love vegetables like never before. They taste so much better now! Without having meat as the center of a meal, I now experiment with different vegetables I never noticed before (peppers, zuchinni, and eggplant), healthy herbs, spices and sauces that kick up my food several levels. Who knew veggies could be so yummy? My skin is clearer, my energy is better, and my thoughts are more focused. Most importantly, I know that I can do any hard feat I put my mind to. Becoming a vegetarian and seeing it through increased my self-confidence.

The Bad

First off, have you ever heard of “meat-envy?” I may have just made it up, but it’s real! In the beginning I sometimes found myself staring lovingly at someone else’s steak dinner while I munched on my veggies, secretly green with envy and daydreaming about snatching the meat off of their plate and inhaling it in one swift motion. Luckily this only lasted a couple months and faded over time. Now that I have no desire for meat, I’m pretty sure my meal is the most amazing dish in the room! No cobbs.

Second, in the beginning I struggled to eat out at restaurants. It just wasn’t the same. I missed looking over menus full of the best meat entrees one could imagine (fried, smothered, pan seared…) excited to narrow down my choice. But as a vegetarian, my options were drastically reduced and I found myself annoyed to only have a couple things to choose from.

This frustration faded with time. I got really creative going through a menu, adding this, taking out that, and sometimes making my own delicious creation as I worked with my server to accommodate me. For example, I can order the chicken sandwich (minus the chicken) with avocado and peppercorn cheese as the substitute on a brioche bun. My my my. Now I can work with almost any menu and people look over at my dish with envy! Again, no cobbs.

Finally, get-togethers and potlucks did me in child! I never realized that so many homemade vegetables, side dishes and casseroles were cooked with meat! There’s nothing like eyeing an amazing pot of greens that smell like the Gods, only to see a huge turkey thigh floating in the middle. Why do you all do this to me? Womp Womp! In many cases there are only a few things I can eat, so I learned to not go to events starving. Eating a bit beforehand saved me from epic meat-envy, pouting and disappointment!

The Ugly (Beware…)

There’s only one ugly I can think of: the initial weight gain. Because BABY! I assumed that becoming a vegetarian meant I had a free-access pass to eat whatever I wanted and that I would lose weight just off of GP. Well, the survey determined that pass was a LIE! In the beginning, I replaced meat with tons of pizza, pasta and carbs. In fact, I gained about 10 pounds during the first month. Naive and shocked, I quickly realized I needed to be more of a true vegetarian, and less of a Carb Monster. Don’t laugh, no one told me this wasn’t how it worked! Don’t fall for the okey doke like me! Although I still love my pizzas and pastas, I have learned to lean more towards the veggie medleys, veggie sandwiches and healthier combinations in general.

You Can Do It!

So why not try it? You, too, can become a vegetarian. All you need is a plan, discipline and commitment. Don’t just become a statistic, see it through!

The post Three Years A Vegetarian-The Good, Bad, and Ugly of it All! appeared first on Sassy Plum.

So you’re interested in becoming a vegetarian! Well I won’t waste your time, let’s get straight to business. The key to making this journey successful is discipline. It won’t work without it.

1-Pick a transition date. Choose a start-date, any date! Whether it be a week, month, or year away, decide on a date. But the catch is that you must stick to it and set your preparation schedule in accordance to the date you choose. Avoid picking a date so far out that you don’t have to work towards it now. If that’s the case, you’re kicking the can too far down the road and you’re probably not ready. Anyway, choose something in reach (I recommend within 6 months) so that the countdown matters right now. Got your date? Congratulations, this is the first step of your journey!

2-Clean out your kitchen. Okay, now you have a date and it’s time to get to work. Revamp your kitchen (and life, lol). Get rid of your meat. If you pick a date far enough in advance you can eat it all before you convert. If your start-date is soon, you can always give it away. Remove the things that may cause you to relapse back to meat (i.e. hide your deep fryer). Failure to do this step will increase your chance at missing your start-date or quickly falling back into your old meat diet once you begin.

3-Stock up and practice. Close to your start-date, stock up on fruits, veggies, snacks- anything you will want to eat in your new life. Start eyeing recipes and saving the ones you want to try. There are so many vegetarian dishes you can make in your air-fryer and crock-pot. If you want, you can even practice in advance. Experiment and get comfortable with eating meatless dishes. For example, you can commit to “Meatless Mondays” or “Veggie Taco Tuesdays” until your start-date. Perhaps you can even set up a gradual transition over a longer period of time. Or you can be like me and go crazy eating all the meat you want until your start date. And then go cold turkey (no pun intended). I’m an all-or-nothing type of person so a firm cut-off date worked better for me. You decide.

4-Get your mind right. Now that you made the decision to convert, get it together! Grieve, pout, vent to your friends or talk to your therapist. Deal with your feelings NOW! Because when you get to your start date, it’s go-time and all business.

5-Survive the first 2 weeks. This will be the hardest two weeks of your journey! My first week wasn’t that bad. However, by the 2nd week I felt down and out as my new life set in. DO NOT cave or collapse during this period, just be strong and ride it out. Your meat withdrawals may be very uncomfortable, but see it through. Fight the negative feelings and keep your mind right! Weeks 3 and 4 will be much better and then it’s smooth sailing!

6-Don’t fill your meat void with the wrong things. In the first month of my vegetarian journey, I made a critical error: I replaced meat with carbs and gained 10 pounds. Trying hard to fulfill an emotional void, I accidentally tripled my carb intake. Assuming I could eat whatever I wanted and still be healthy, I filled my meals with fries, pizza, and pasta. It didn’t take long for me to see each of these choices piling up on my hips in real-time and I figured I was probably worse off than before. Once I adjusted my habits and switched to a plant-based diet, the initial pounds fell back off.

7-Don’t give into temptation. Yes you’ll see Popeyes Chicken commercials, smell BBQ wafting on a summer day, or be tempted to slide into a Chick-Fil-A drive-thru. But DON’T DO IT. Get a hold of yourself and control your actions! Once you expertly ignore the temptations a couple of times you’ll get the hang of it. Luckily, I’m now at the point where someone can dangle a hot lemon pepper chicken wing in front of me and I won’t even bat an eyelash.

8-Find substitutes for your temptation. Find a replacement that stops the temptation in it’s tracks. For me, I discovered that fried eggplant or fried lasagna reminds me of chicken Parmesan and takes away my meat craving. Buffalo cauliflower works well for me when I start missing hot Buffalo wings. Whether it’s tofu, an Impossible Burger, or the latest Jackfruit creation (I hear Jackfruit turkey tips are fire), figure out what your substitute is and use it like a weapon (against yourself)!

9-Find an accountability partner or support group. If you’re BAD, gon’ ahead and knock it out alone! It is definitely possible. But for the rest of us, an accountability partner may be the best route. I advise choosing a partner that converted to vegetarianism in the past. This person or group will already understand the struggle firsthand and may be in the best position to guide you along and talk you out of temptation.

10. Keep going and going and going! Now that you have all the tools, you’re set. The only thing moving you further or holding you back is YOU. Watch your vegetarian week turn into a month, season, year, and then decade. The only way you will go back to meat is if you, and only you, decide to end your journey.

The post Step-By-Step Instructions on How to Become a Vegetarian and Not Relapse appeared first on Sassy Plum.

So many of us have gotten used to feeling blah, dull or uninspired as we drift through the same predictable activities each day. There are so many reasons why a day can seem dreadful, stressful, or just plain boring. For most of us working adults, much of our days are filled with emotionally unfulfilling tasks. For example, dragging ourselves out the bed for work, paying bills we wish we didn’t have to pay, or running unexciting errands can all feel like chores we groan our way through. In fact, many of us spend upwards of 80 hours a week engaging in activities that bring us mediocre blahness, at best. That’s A LOT of time we can’t ever get back.

A few years ago, I caught on to this cyclical trend and decided to do something about it. Unfortunately, we cannot remove many of these unfulfilling chores because we are adults and well, this is how we have to function in order to sustain our livelihood. BUT, let’s focus on what we CAN do. We can make our days more pleasant and rewarding by making a simple adjustment- building a daily and mandatory self-care policy into our schedules.

Self-care Tip 1: Force it Into Your Day

Each and every day, add ONE thing to your schedule that will make you smile. That’s it, that’s all.

Each day, I add at least one activity to my calendar that I will look forward to. Some activities I plan and schedule in advance, other times I allow my activity to come about spontaneously. But one thing about me… I’m going to see a self-care activity through regardless of what “chores” I have planned for the day. Now when I wake up in the morning and think about all the unfavorable and mundane things I must tackle, I immediately shift my mind to that one self-care item I squeezed into my busy schedule and I focus on looking forward to it.

Sometimes my activity is being pampered. I love scheduling appointments for nails, hair, massages, waxing and facials in advance so that they can count as my self-care for the day. One of my other favorite activities is dating myself. My happy place is popping into a restaurant or bar by myself, and enjoying a nice cocktail while listening to my headphones. Other times I schedule time to simply sit on my front porch and soak up the sun for an hour, or take a walk without being on my phone – both activities completely free.

Self-care Tip 2: Venture Into the Unknown

Much of our lives are constant duplicates of what we’ve already done. We are notorious for taking the same routes, visiting the same restaurants, and mindlessly completing our days with our eyes closed. But breaking the monotony adds fresh experiences to our lives and gives us something new and unique to look forward to each day. I find that people that are intentional about uncovering new experiences are rarely bored and have an abundance of wealth to share with the rest of us.

They say “life begins at the end of your comfort zone” and I can vouch for that. Another strategy I use when deciding on an activity is to often pick something new I’ve never experienced. Venturing into the unknown sometimes makes me a tad nervous, but also gives me the push I need to make my life experiences richer. I may eat my lunch at the lake, visit a unique boutique in a part of town I rarely travel to, or read an article about a subject I don’t know much about while I enjoy a latte in a coffee shop I’ve never stepped in. No matter how small- do something different. New experiences yield new life, new aspirations and new goals.

Self-care Tip 3: Make Yourself a Priority

Because who else will? And if there is someone that will, why wait on them? I suggest everyone practice this mindset and watch how your days brighten. There is so much in the world we can’t control, so why not be the boss of your healthy spirit? Self-care is not selfish or egotistical. It should be a requirement for living. So add a standing date with yourself to the calendar, and do it NOW (said in my sweet, but stern mother voice).

Self-care Examples

Choose at least one activity per day:

• Wine & dine yourself
• Meditate
• Schedule an extended lunch break
• Exercise
• Take a long walk to your favorite play-list
• Get a mani/pedi
• Use an adult-coloring book
• Try a new recipe
• Visit a new restaurant
• Book a massage
• Hike
• Plant flowers
• Start/complete a mini project
• Visit a friend you haven’t seen in years
• Listen to an audio book in your favorite chair
• Shop til you drop
• Eat your favorite ice-cream on a park bench
• Sit in direct sunlight for 20 minutes
• Sew, knit or crochet
• Start a new hobby
• Plan a solo trip
• Scratch things off your bucket list

Whatever you choose, be intentional about enjoying your day!

The post A Simple Way to Look Forward to Each Day: Self-Care Hack appeared first on Sassy Plum.

I’m not a great mom, I’m average at best. I’m tired. I cut too many corners to win any type of parental award. I’m not your greatest example of what an ideal mom should look like. I don’t even want a “Mother of the Year” honor because I’m naturally not that person and I don’t feel bad about it either. Sometimes our life is a cluster with many moving parts and I’ve accepted this reality. I may be mediocre on my best day, but my kids are always smiling and their eyes dance. My kids won’t remember the fact that I never took home a Supermom trophy, but they will always remember how I made them feel. I’m happy, they’re happy. And to be honest, that’s all I really care about. You can place that coveted parent award on your mantel. Enjoy!

Sometimes I let let my kids eat dessert before dinner. After-all, it makes them feel special and rules are meant to be broken. My fondest childhood memories are when my parents threw rules out the window and let us be. I don’t make my kids eat foods they don’t like. There were times family members forced me to eat gross vegetables as a kid and I still have associated trauma. So no, I don’t do that. In fact, I’m sure my children are falling short of all the daily recommended vegetable and water servings. But they’ll live. Despite national studies that suggest otherwise, their iPads are their best friends and I support their extended use. Like I said, I’m tired as a motha.

We try to complete all homework assignments but often, life gets in the way and we turn stuff in late. This year was especially a doozy having to add “teaching and other classroom duties” to my professional resume. Do I look like I’ve been trained in teaching? I’m good at a lot of things, but it’s obvious that teaching isn’t one of them and I’m okay with that. I used to beat myself up, constantly falling short in e-learning goals and often disappointed in my newfound teaching abilities (or lack thereof). Especially when other parents seemed to be keeping up just fine. But I decided I wouldn’t go through life always trying to keep up with the Jones and stellar parents whose kids are winning special class projects left and right. That’s not me, and I’m not even faking it or jealous. Like I said, I’m tired.

I’m an individual that has personal needs, desires and goals outside of motherhood. If I’m not fed, I cannot feed my children. So I try really hard to balance their needs with my own. Sometimes I hit, sometimes I miss. Actually I miss a lot and I’m used to doing a lot of face-palms. I watch a lot of moms miserably go without to make things perfect for their kids. But that’s not me and I’m not going. What I won’t do is sell myself short in the process of motherhood because I matter too. It’s important to me that my children see me make myself a priority as well. In trying to balance my interest with theirs on a good day, some details get overlooked. A sis is tired.

I start my days energized, and end completely spent! I work full time, I parent full time, I have my hands in 1,000 things at once. My life doesn’t revolve around my kids and it shows. You won’t hear about me showing up to all the PTA meetings or crafting amazing child art fairs at home. My kids aren’t doing parent-inspired science fair poster or special assignments that will catapult them to the head of the class. On our best day, we are trying to complete missing math and past-due artwork because our lives just got crazy. On an average day, I’m just trying to keep my household clean and together without having a breakdown. Again, your girl is tired.

Most days, I often don’t now what I’m doing. I don’t know the answers to these complex parental conundrums, like “how to keep your young kids from sibling rivalry,” or “how teach your teenager about being a responsible adult.” It’s easier said than done and I surely don’t know what I’m doing on a consistent basis! Every day I have to deal with new parental experiences I’ve never seen before and I feel clueless. Sometimes I say the wrong things, some days I hit a home run. But given that no one ever handed me the blue-book on how to parent, I don’t get down in the dumps when I make a bad decision. Half of the time, I don’t know what the heck just happened, plus I’m tired. *Shrugs.*

But I one thing is for sure, I do show up each and every day. I wake up early with a renewed spirit and fresh energy to tackle motherhood. I start my day with new ideas on how to be better and learn from my previous parental failures. I don’t hold myself to high standards I’ll never be able to reach- I reach what I can and sleep peacefully at night knowing I’m at least a top nomination for the “Pretty Good Mom” award. (I’m going to be too salty if I don’t win at least that!) But one thing is for sure: I am present, my kids are always smiling, and I show up early and ready to work.

The post I May Be A Mediocre Mom on My Best Day, But My Kids Can’t Stop Smiling appeared first on Sassy Plum.

A few months ago I suffered a cervical spine injury and had to undergo surgery to correct it. Scared out of my mind and absolutely terrified of being put to sleep and under a knife for the first time, I prepared my nerves to accept the fact that I needed to get through one of the hardest feats of my life. I was ready to be cut in a sensitive place. I was ready to deal with a long recovery. I was ready to heal. The only thing I forgot to prepare for was the scar it would leave behind.

Three days after my surgery, I excitedly removed my bandage, ready to get back to normal. What I saw staring back at me sent me into an anxiety attack. I didn’t recognize the new me and quickly realized I was now “tainted.” I used to love every inch of my neck and now I absolutely hated what I saw. Shaking and crying, I struggled to make sense of the new me and the ugly scar that now obviously defined me. I felt hopeless and depressed at the unfair and drastic change of me.

Gutted, and in between crying spells, I snapped this photo and sent it to my closest friends. I wanted them to see the new, hideous me. The sooner they could accept me, the sooner I could regroup. Of course they were supportive and poured love into me, but it wasn’t enough. They told me it would fade, but I was so consumed in self-pity that I didn’t believe them. I hated the fact that this monstrous scar now defined me.

I spent hours each day staring at my new look, searching for any semblance of recognition, and hoping that it may disappear if I stared long enough. When I realized it wouldn’t go away, I got bored and stopped staring. I stopped obsessively photographing it and decided I was wasting my time. For I was stuck in a dark valley of shallowness and a victim of my own vanity – neither of which served me. I needed an escape.

Suddenly over me and all my BS, I just simply decided to abandon the shallow ridiculousness and move on without looking back. If I had a hideous scar, so what. I was tired of it eating me alive and I needed to move to another place. So I gathered my belongings and jumped right off that pity train. As I started to mind my business and focus on other things, I didn’t even realize my scar was minding it’s own business- quietly healing and fading.

Life sure is funny. Somewhere down the line, I must have switched directions without evening knowing. One day I felt my neck for my scar, as I had done hundreds of times before, and couldn’t feel it. What was once raised and brutal skin was now smooth and blended. Once again, I panicked. I ran to a mirror and searched for the scar, desperately needing to locate it. I had trouble finding it, but it was there. I sighed in relief and then processed my thoughts. In that moment I realized I had grown attached to my scar and somewhere down the line had felt comforted by touching and seeing it. Having nurtured it for months, I realized in that moment that I had fallen in love.

And here’s the kicker- I was right all along. My scar does indeed define me. What I once saw as ghastly and grotesque, I now see as one of my most prized natural possessions. I’m absolutely in love with my scar because I know its story. I love it because I love me. It’s a beauty mark that tells the story of fear, resiliency and ultimate self-love. When I look at my scar, I remember who I am and what I’ve been through. I love having access to that daily reminder.

I look to my scar when I need gentle reminders about what makes me me. I touch my scar when I need graceful reminders that my physical imperfections make me unique. I think about my scar when I need a pep-talk about where I’m going and what I’m trying to overcome. My scar is a symbol of pain, transition and endurance. I have a beauty mark no one else can have and it’s all mine! My own purple heart and beautiful badge of honor.

I need my scars. My surgery scar. My mama pouch and stretchmarks from having 3 children. Along with all the faded cuts and blemishes I’ve accumulated over 4 decades of suffering, learning and living-in no particular order. Sometimes simultaneously. I am so emotionally connected to my scars that reflect stories of painful experiences turned beautiful journeys. If given the option to make my surgery scar vanish, I’d now definitively choose “NO.”

I know this may be small and superficial for people reading this, but for me, it’s everything. Also, this post isn’t just about the surgery scar

The post Love Is…Flaunting My Scars Like Lovely Accessories appeared first on Sassy Plum.